It seems that, many years ago, The Rolling Stones took a break during one of their USA tours to play a round of golf at an undisclosed out of the way course somewhere in the southwest. See if you can identify the issues and make the correct rulings for Mick Jagger and company in the following stroke play scenarios which incorporate some of their song and album titles (in blue italics):
- At the teeing ground of the 1sthole, Mick Jagger and Keith Richards see several Wild Horses stampeding across the fairway in the vicinity of their well-positioned drives. Then, a Little Red Roosterruns over and picks up one of their balls and disappears with it into the desert. When they arrive at the landing area, they discover that Keith’s ball is in the middle of a hoof print and has been pushed into the ground, and they correctly conclude that the rooster absconded with Mick’s ball. Mick exclaims, “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction!” Keith replies, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”
- Driving Too Fast on the 5thhole, Bill Wyman loses sight of his ball as it heads towards an out of bounds fence. He mumbles, “I hope my ball does Not Fade Away!” As he nears the area where he thinks his ball left the course, Sittin’ on a Fence is a Honky Tonk Woman. She introduces herself as Ruby Tuesday, and tells Bill that she was there Waiting on a Friend, and then pointed to Bill’s ball which was in bounds. Ruby, playing the role of Mother’s Little Helper, had actually found his ball out of bounds and tossed it back in bounds without telling Wyman! Bill had No Expectations of finding his ball, but was Happy to see it in bounds, and played it Down in the Hole before teeing off at the next hole.
- Ronnie Wood was having his 19thNervous Breakdown as nearly every one of his strokes was Out of Control. After severely hooking his drive on the 9thhole, he discovered that his ball had Shattered the windshield of a golf cart occupied by Angie and Lady Jane who were heading down the adjacent fairway. Oddly enough, Wood’s ball ended up in an open bag of Brown Sugar on the floorboard of the golf cart.
- On the 13thhole, Keith Richard’s yells, “Don’t Stop!” as his putt was slowing down before it came to rest overhanging the hole. He tells Charlie Watts, “The Last Time this happened to me, I learned thatTime Is on My Side.”
- Mick hears a loud clap of thunder and shouts, “Gimme Shelter” as he jumps in his golf cart and races for the clubhouse like a Midnight Rambler in the middle of playing the 16thhole.